Somehow it’s halfway through November already, and despite what every store playing Christmas carols and hanging decorative wreaths apparently thinks, Thanksgiving is a week away. They always say Christmas comes earlier and earlier every year, but I swear at this rate Thanksgiving has just become Black Friday’s Eve. I have nothing against consumerism and/or Christmas, but food will always be my first love and I feel it’s only right to honor the holiday of overeating properly.
In that spirit, let’s take a look at some outfits that will allow you to eat seconds of everything without fear of splitting your pants at the seam.
This is the camp I fall under, generally speaking. Thanksgiving in my family is almost always a casual affair that involves every relative twice-removed, at least one football and/or round of Settlers of Catan, and plenty of dessert. For that reason, I almost always dress comfortably and casually, which in my case is usually code for flannel and sweaters.
I understand that boots with a heel are really not ideal for impromptu football games. I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether that’s really a bad thing, however.
Of course, there are those times when Thanksgiving calls for something slightly more dressed up than a baggy flannel and wool socks–for example, if your family likes to go out to eat instead. Not everyone enjoys slaving over the hot stove for an entire day only to find out that Aunt Susan is on a strict vegan diet, and thus only picks morosely at some brussel sprouts whilst complaining about how difficult it is to eat at other people’s houses with her dietary restrictions. At least at a restaurant she has someone else to blame.
For obvious reasons, a dress is the perfect choice for a night of feasting. Add a charmingly Ewok-esque coat on top and you’ll not only be warm and cozy all night long, you’ll also give Aunt Susan something else to talk about aside from her brussel sprouts. It’s really a win-win.
I’m not 100% sure who the people are who dress up truly formally for Thanksgiving dinner, but I know they exist. A fancy Thanksgiving seems a bit misguided because everyone knows you can’t fully indulge your love of stuffing and pumpkin pie when you have to be concerned with tottering around on your heels every time you get up for seconds. However, this is a judgment-free zone and anyway just the other day I saw a man walking down the street eating a dog biscuit so really, who am I to judge.
I almost can’t believe I’m legitimately including a fur stole, but the more I look at it, the more it grows on me. There are certain occasions when a chunky knit scarf just won’t do the job, as much as it pains me to admit it, and that’s where the stole comes in. The temptation to sing “over the river and through the woods” will undoubtedly be strong while wearing it, but that’s a small price to pay for warmth.
As a side note, a quick google of “over the river and through the woods” to double check that that IS, in fact, the title, reveals that it was originally called “The New-England Boy’s Song about Thanksgiving,” which not only goes to show that our culture has grossly appropriated everything about Thanksgiving in the name of Christmas, but also raises an alarming flag that in the early 19th century one needed a sleigh to get to grandma’s house at Thanksgiving, and by now I could probably wear a t-shirt while I bike there. Granted, the early 1800s were apparently a “Little Ice Age,” but global warming is still real.
Never let it be said that this blog is not educational.