Uniqlo is not a brand I have a ton of experience with, but they recently opened a new store not far from DC and there is apparently such excitement about it that even a week or two after it opened, people have to queue up just to get inside.
Obviously I was curious but also too lazy to stand in a 50+ person line just to spend money, so I waited until there was no crowd one evening to go investigate. This was probably not my best decision, because it turns out I love absolutely everything in the store and will probably lose a substantial portion of my paycheck to them, but money can’t buy happiness anyway so oh well.
Let’s take a look at what they have in store.
In the interest of full transparency, someone in the online reviews for this sweater did say they returned it because it was the color of baby poo. I guess I don’t have enough experience with baby poo, because to me this looks like being wrapped in a pumpkin spice latte with a turtleneck. Either way, if you have children and/or enjoy the occasional PSL, I guess this top is ideal for concealing any spills or messes.
What I like about Uniqlo is that everything is pretty much a solid color, so it can be mixed and matched very easily. They also have a very minimalistic style, unlike the rest of the fashion world that has apparently decided ugly is the new black. It’s a breath of fresh air to unfold a sweater or jean jacket and not have to be concerned about whether there is a girl scout sash-worth of patches sewn across what would otherwise be a perfect garment (looking at you, Zara).
Conveniently enough, Uniqlo also carries plenty of work-friendly options. I had to walk past the flannel section to get to it, which tested my resolve pretty seriously, but even I have to admit that I can’t wear flannel for every occasion. And if I have to dress like an adult, this is probably the most comfortable way to do it.
I do realize this coat bears a suspicious resemblance to a bathrobe, but I’m also not really convinced that’s a bad thing. Personally I like to wear bathrobes around the house during the winter just for warmth, but the only downside is that you look like you just woke up when your landlord decides to stop by without warning to check the smoke detectors at 3 pm. I may be the only person in the world with this problem, but obviously Uniqlo created the perfect solution and I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
One of Uniqlo’s main selling points is their Heat Tech line. I’m not even really sure what they sell in the summer, because it seems most of their clothes are designed for warmth. Granted, I’m not sure it’s even going to get below freezing in DC in the foreseeable future, but better safe than sorry and anyway I get cold embarrassingly easily for someone from New England. Gone are the days when I was willing to wait outside in 10 degree weather for a cab with only a thin jacket and no hat or scarf because I didn’t want to bring a coat out with me. Life is too short as it is.
This outfit could also easily be paired with thick wool socks and Bean boots if you live somewhere with actual seasons. I wore something like this recently and was informed that I looked like an equestrian, which I chose to take as a compliment even if it wasn’t intended that way, because I always wanted to be an accomplished horseback rider and instead I endured years of crushed toes, concussions, and a blistered butt (who knew this was a real thing) before I admitted to myself that perhaps I was better at just dressing the part. Hindsight is always 20/20.