I realize this post is a little late because I already saw a girl walking down the street earlier today in a giant panda hat, but if you’re anything like me, you’ve been procrastinating on thinking of a good costume for the past month, alternating between desperately googling “halloween costumes for women 2016” and complaining to anyone who will listen that you can’t think of anything good.
No? Just me?
Either way, don’t let your procrastinating ways ruin the best holiday there is. With a quick trip to your local mall and a search through the deepest recesses of your closet, you can pull something out of the bag. Let’s take a look at a few ideas.
This one is easy enough, especially speaking as someone who’s worn glasses since the 3rd grade. In college people used to ask me regularly if my glasses were fake if I wore them out to a bar, which is an odd thing to ask because do you really think I prefer to wear pieces of plastic in front of my eyes that fog up like a bathroom mirror in the back of a hot, overcrowded bar?
Anyway, I digress. If you are a proud four-eyes and want to give your eyes a break from contacts for the evening, your costume is basically already made for you.
Topknot – Pinterest // Shirt – American Eagle // Glasses – Urban // Shoes – H&M // Skirt – F21 // Lipstain – Ulta
You probably already own most of these things, if maybe not the plaid skirt. Luckily, Forever 21 is a haven of $12 skirts that you’ll probably never wear again anyway, so there’s no excuse not to pull this costume together. Optional accessories include an apple, book, or ruler, though lord knows you’ll probably lose anything not attached to you by the end of the night.
Sticking with the school theme that I’ve apparently developed, here’s an idea that takes almost no work to put together. This was what I was considering being, until I realized I was too lazy to take the metro to Dick’s sporting goods to have some sales associate patronize me when I ask where to find the whistles, as the cashier at the hardware store did when I bought sanding paper one time, as though just because I’m a woman I have no business sanding something. That shit gets tiring.
Glasses – F21 // Tee – H&M // Socks – Garage // Whistle – Dick’s // Shorts – American Apparel // Shoes – Zappos
This costume is ostensibly just thrown together from the sales rack at American Apparel, which is not a bad thing given that American Apparel is probably still surviving solely off the sale of its leopard bodysuits and neon tights before Halloween. They may have miscalculated just how long America would entertain 80s-style leggings and overpriced sweaters, but at least they know how to put together a good costume.
This is my favorite idea. Granted, it’s not really a costume if it’s your real life, but the beauty is that if you’re a true cat lady, you probably already own several cat items. And if you don’t, you’ll definitely still use them after Halloween is over, despite what your dog-loving boyfriend may say.
Glasses – Urban // Tee – Walmart // Rollers – Ulta // Cat – Amazon // Cardigan – H&M // Slippers – F21
I mean in all honesty, would you not wear all of these things again at some point in the future? If you want to take the next step, you could even do as Pinterest suggests, and carry around a pooper scooper in one hand and a litter box with rice krispies and snickers in the other. Personally, as appealing as that sounds, nothing would be worse than waiting in the cold to get into a bar, only to be told they don’t allow cat poop inside, and having to sacrifice all of that chocolate. And in any case, cats are allergic to chocolate anyway, so it’s probably best you don’t have it in the house.